Winter Woes

So what's the deal with winter?  I tell you what the deal is.  It's a cold bitch.  Firstly, all the girls are wearing all this clothing all of the sudden.  I think I speak for everyone when I say, WTF winter?  If summer is a hot drunken girl, then winter is her ugly fat friend who makes her go home with her at 12 because they made a pact not to hook up with anyone tonight.  Also, when girls wear all this clothing, it makes it quite a chore for me to undress them with my eyes.  By the time I mentally get the stupid scarf and those sherpa boots off I'm ready for a nap.  And it isn't good for the ladies either.  How am I supposed to show off the guns?  I guess I could wear a vest, but then i'm subject to marty mcfly jokes all day.  People say stuff like, "hey you really look like marty mcfly in that vest."  God people aren't funny.  So ladies, please just humor me.  If you must be warm wear a tight turtleneck or something.  After all, it's christmas.